Dear Bully: A Poem
I thought you were too scared.
I thought I had run you off for once and for all.
I thought you had come to your senses
And screwed enough brains into your head to know you should never again mess with me.
You’re here again
To wake me up
To stare at me in the mirror
To be the air I breathe.
They say, who study you,
You are just a signpost of health,
That your visits mean we’re actually for the better
For keeping you company.
But I feel worse.
She knows not how much you stink
And how much you wear out your welcome all too fast
And how fickle and hormonal you are
Until she’s played hostess.
Does this mean I have twins?
I’m so mad at you.
Go away.
I think I’ll stick Jesus on you.
So there.
The Three R’s of Breast-feeding
Without seeming flippant about this topic, I want to propose what I believe are the three most important factors of success in breast-feeding. These three tips are grounded in my own experience with breast-feeding three children in a span of four years. I look forward to nursing more babies if God allows, so here is my humble advice for what it’s worth, which I feel is in line with what any good health professional or lactation expert would advise.
Reinforce.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. -Fran Lebowitz
That’s funny, but it’s true! How can I expect to adequately feed my baby if I am not getting the proper nutrients I need? This seems like it would be a no-brainer, but I am one among many who recall feeling extremely drained and having to learn the hard way how much proper fat intake affects success in nursing. I can say with confidence that I know my second child took everything from me on a daily basis for at least seven months, and I felt completely famished and drained ninety-percent of the time. I shudder as I look back on that phase as one of the most horrible times of my life because I was like a walking zombie, not realizing how low below the bar I was in terms of calories. I remember eating and eating as much as I could, and no more than thirty minutes later would I be again wanting to eat an entire meal. I think that there may have been some depression there, too, but only God knows that and whether or not my nutrition was playing a role in that as well. Something good came out of it, though, besides a growing baby, which was that I finally realized how fast my metabolism and his metabolism worked. Now I know that the first thing on Steven’s mind at daybreak will always be food, and I know how careful I need to be about eating more.
Continuing to take multivitamins is extremely important, and certainly if they have not been taken up to this point, now is the time to do so! My advice is to eat snacks and meals high in iron and protein, vitamin C, and fill up on juices and liquids. My midwife got me into drinking Emergen-C during my last pregnancy, and it has really seemed to help in this area. This is not a good time to starve the mind and body with empty, refined, sugary foods. Stay away from anything that declares “partially-hydrogenated oil” or “hydrogenated oil” in the ingredients, and bulk up on foods rich in EFA’s (essential-fatty-acids). Some great, fatty foods for nursing are avocados, nuts, flaxseeds, and dark, leafy greens. If you are having a hard time getting energy while nursing or doubting your milk production, definitely consider what you are eating and how much, and eat more when in doubt. This is not the time to worry about your dress size! It’s just plain wise and healthy to reinforce with strong foods, water, and vitamins as your body produces the wonderful milk the baby needs.
Rest.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. — Leo J. Burke
I confess I roll my eyes sometimes when this advice is given by mothers who have “been there” and “done that.” “Rest when they rest.” “This too shall pass.” I don’t want to hear this any more than the next person. “Yeah, it’s going to pass, and pass right by me!” “How am I supposed to get anything done if I rest when they rest?” “I cannot rest when my whole life is one, messy pile of laundry!” I have those kinds of thoughts all the time. I think most mothers do. Getting adequate rest, however, is very, very crucial while breast-feeding. I am amazed at how quickly my milk supply is boosted when I take a nap or go to bed earlier. Wow! I know a mother who says, “But I’m just not a napper. Napping messes up my whole day.” My response is, “Well, that ‘aint me!” No, seriously, while I could sleep a good chunk of every afternoon (and I believe that’s mainly because I’m always on the anemic side of the spectrum), even on days that I may not think I need a nap, lying down, putting my feet up, and closing my eyes for just twenty minutes can make a world of difference for my baby and me. That, coupled with the discipline of going to bed at 8:30 or 9:30 instead of my normal bedtime can do wonders.
God wants His children to experience rest on a regular basis as He models it for us. The Sabbath is our chance every week to stop and rest. If I don’t rest like I should, God always seems to lovingly give me something to slow me down and make me take heed to His ways. I get plugged ducts, for example, or I have a big drop in my milk supply. “Oops. I think I should be resting more than I am.” There is sometimes no better cure than a good night’s sleep or a friend or spouse lending a hand so that the door can be closed for a quiet nap. This is when it is very important to know that it is okay and God-ordained to ask for help sometimes, and it seems to get more and more important with more children in the house.
It is very difficult during the “blur” phase to get rest. I call the first three months with an infant the “blur” phase because I cannot remember what in the world happened during those weeks. It is amazing. Not only is it hard to remember the days, but it is equally difficult to remember how that baby manages to give four straight hours for the first time and how refreshing it is wake up from baby’s first “full night” of sleep. No one understands what it’s like to be that tired until they experience it! It is good to remember during this time that a nursing mother should try as much as possible to keep in mind that the baby is on a twenty-four hour, ’round the clock cycle. Time of day does not matter so much as the importance of resting, eating, waking, etc. It feels like a blur, but in the grand scheme of things it is really marvelous to know that this baby is receiving the foundation for its entire lifetime of working, playing, eating, resting, and activity! Wow! We get the privilege of doing that! It’s so hard during the blur phase, but it is so worth it. Some of my best rest is closing the door and lying down with my baby to nurse.
I am personally not an advocate for the “family bed,” but every now and then I get some much needed rest by snuggling in the bed and sharing a guiltless nap with the baby at breast. As I write this I look forward to doing that next Summer with my fourth child, even if it means a pseudo-nap (moms, you know what those are) while the kids are watching a movie on the floor. I have also nursed in the front seat of the car with a blanket and a pillow, taking a twenty-minute nap while my husband takes the other kids inside a store or library, and I have nursed in the bathtub with some music and hot tea many times and found it very refreshing. Some of the best memories of nursing for me are of times I’ve stolen a half-hour in a back bedroom at a family get-together, enjoying the quiet and peace of mind that my other kids are being entertained by relatives. It’s true that one of the best blessings of nursing is its portability! I have yet to nurse and fall asleep during church, though. My husband says he has personally witnessed mothers doing that in Africa!
Relax.
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. — Charlotte Brontë
Easier said than done, right? Someone leans over to me after my first baby is born with a smile and says, “You seem so much more relaxed than I have ever known you to be.” This makes me laugh. I say, “Well, more of it, please!” It really is amazing how God makes all of the hormones work together to give mothers a sense of calmness and tranquil ability to zone in to the early needs of this baby’s life despite what is going on all around us.
Sometimes, however, it is far from easy to relax. There is that older, often loud and stern-faced woman who criticizes the nursing position (while standing right above the shoulder of course), or that man who tactlessly comments how baby is too fat or too skinny and needs mashed potatoes, or the group of mothers who naturally huddle together to discuss the most popular and controversial nursing methods. Nursing the baby may come at the most stressful season in your life; your husband may have lost his job, or you may be in the middle of a move or sickness. You feel like nursing is just one more thing to add to being overwhelmed. Then there is the friend who nurses all of her children for years and never mentions a single problem. It can really make you feel alone. It is so hard to be new at something. Every mother, at least every mother I have met, really wants to do everything the very best she can. No one wants to feel inadequate or erroneous, and nursing is certainly no exception. Most moms try to read up on the subject of breast-feeding only to feel more confused, doubtful, or even scared away from the task, often times resulting in a bitter or resentful attitude toward nursing. This is really sad, but you know, it’s not the end of the world.
My advice is if you’re new at nursing, give it your best. Try to remember the Three R’s of reinforcing, resting, and relaxing, and treat it like anything else in life — a chance to grow as a person and trust God with what happens in your life. Every nursing mother has been new at this at one time or another, and there are countless ways of nursing that have proven successful. I know from my own experience that nursing can be very stress-relieving at times when you need that. Maybe find a friend who has been there and will help you relax by promising to not compare or criticize and just help you in those first few months. Team up with a lactation consultant who will be available anytime, like mine was at 11:00 pm on a Saturday night when I was screaming in pain with a plugged duct! Even if you only are able to nurse a few short weeks or months, smile and know that you tried, and your baby(ies) appreciated it! Breast-feeding is without a doubt the best way to feed a baby, but at the same time, God tells us not to worry about our lives. He clothes the lilies of the fields, and as we seek Him we will see His hands provide the very food we need for our young ones.
A Little Table Runner
Here’s a picture for Linda. Thanks, Linda!
I saw this idea first over at her blog and read how she got the idea from Sally, so I thought I would try my hand at something similar. I should have been taking a nap actually, but I whipped it up yesterday afternoon to go along with a big “breakfast supper” with our small group friends last night. Thus the leftover crumbs, wrinkles, and not very good quality picture. I wanted to use the osnaburg Linda mentions in her post, but I didn’t have time to run and get any and just used muslin instead. Next time I will make it wider than 12 inches! Maybe I should have topstitched around the edge, too, but I just left it pretty plain. I’ll quit complaining; all in all it turned out pretty cute and was a nice addition to the table.
I really like the brown paisley fabric, and I can’t remember for the life of me what it’s called. I vaguely remember something like “allana” in the name, but I’m not sure. If anyone knows, I’d be grateful because I bought it almost a year ago and would love more!
To answer the question, “How do you find time to sew?” I will say, “Umm, like most things in my life that are forced, the result is not always worth the effort.” It’s hit or miss. I didn’t start cooking or sewing until I was out of college. Unfortunately I was one of those girls who had a one-track mind concerning female purpose, and it didn’t include domesticity. Sad! But anyway now I make time, and it’s usually when I should be doing something more important like laundry or resting my eyes; I have a tendency to overdo the energy supply… and many times I get interrupted in the middle of something and end up making something halfway or finish it in a laughable condition. It’s like the fleece hooded jacket I started last week with my friend Lindsey, and about 10:15 pm we realized that we had sewn the hood into the collar backwards and just bursted out in laughter and called it quits. Don’t know if that one will ever get finished, right, Lindsey?! I wish I had a picture of Lydia with that on her head!
Pregnant With Thanksgiving
I couldn’t think of a cute name for this post. I usually don’t have that problem. Okay, so in plain English: we are expecting another baby! We are so thankful and happy to share the news. Eric asked if he could post it on his blog instead of mine to see if anyone noticed, and we both laughed. We almost announced the whole thing on the blog, but since we found out a few days before visiting family for Thanksgiving this week, it was only appropriate to share it then.
I’m pregnant with thanksgiving! Exactly four years ago we were going through the last few hard hours of labor to bring our Lydia into the world, and now, four years later we have three sweet blessings resting across the hall and one in my womb. Thank You, Father!
So Lydia, Steven, and Meredith will God-willing have a baby brother or sister next Summer. I cannot tell you how thrilled Eric and I are. We just keep laughing and smiling every time there is a quiet moment between us.
If we have another boy, his name will be Shepherd Ford. If we have a girl, we will likely have a long discussion after the delivery to come up with something the five of us equally like. For now Lydia keeps insisting we name her Dori, but that’s just because she watched “Finding Nemo” last week. Then the conversation quickly digresses into Lydia and Steven speaking waaaaaaaale ….. haha!
Who needs toys?!
Updates
I’m so glad I posted the baby food post. I got some good ideas and tips from the comments! I haven’t been posting much in the last several days because I’ve been glued to my computer for work. I finished some relatively heavy coding and design projects, though, and got the modified Ecbcwomen.com site up again and the newly designed Summerville Attorney site going. Be sure to visit them and let me know what you think!
I’m very excited about ham and turkey and all of the trimmings in a few days, aren’t you? Oh, and I’m excited about seeing family, too – haha! No really, I cannot wait to see my sweet and tiny nephew Noah and the whole family! Who are you excited about seeing?
We have two special birthdays this week: one for my brother-in-law, Harold, and the other for my firstborn sweetie pie, Lydia. I’m trying to finish her birthday song before the end of the week. I cannot believe my baby is almost four. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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