Keeping us on our toes: Train Version
I know I wrote recently about our funny Steven, and Sunday night he gave us another good laugh. Long story short we were in a big crowd of parents and costumed children for a fall festival at our church. Lydia and Steven were jumping in one of those “instant-gratification via air” tents while I fed Meredith outside in her stroller. It was starting to get pretty cold as we watched a breathtaking sunset in the sky.
“Time’s up, kids! Gotta get out!” Eric told them.
Whine, whine, whine went our children.
“Come on, guys! You can get out and go ride on the TTRRRain!” I charmed.
Well, I went back to feeding Meredith, and somehow Eric got talking to someone as our kids exited the inflatable jumpy-thing. About 4-5 minutes later, Eric looked at me with big eyes and said, “Oh no. I can’t find Steven.”
“What?”
You know the drill. We started walking around amidst a ton of people trying to stay calm. Eric laughed later thinking about it. “What was I going to say? Umm, has anyone seen a little child about ‘this tall,’ wearing a costume?!’” Actually that wouldn’t have been a bad question for us to ask since he was conspicuosly dressed up in his pajamas.
We were trying desperately to find Steven, and suddenly I felt like I was in a Curious George story. Eric found me a few minutes later over in the parking lot. I was laughing hysterically. “What are you doing?” he asked. I just kept laughing and pointed discreetly to the little kiddie train that was whirling around on the pavement about twenty feet away from us. There he was, on the back seat of the caboose, decked out in his yellow fleece footed pjs, beside two fourth-grade girls he had never met, sucking his thumb and as content as could be. He must have darted over to the train, bypassed the long line of children waiting, ducked under the ropes around the ride, and climbed up there on his own.
Man I wish I had my camera, so I could post a picture. This was just so hilarious. He was sitting there as if to say, “My mommy said we were going on the train, and by golly, that’s what I’m going to do. Hmph.”
Oh, what am I going to do with him?!
Though You Have Not Seen Him
Oh, Lord, write this on my heart today.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:3-9)
The Irony of it All
No, Really. The Real Deal.
Okay, so I wrote the other day about this speeding stuff. I am happy to say that God has given me the grace and strength to stick to my resolve and obey Him in this area for the last several days. (Yay! Cheer with me! This is challenging for me.) Tonight on the way home from church it was really hard, though.
I didn’t have any problems on the interstate, and I haven’t really had any the last few days. It’s over near my house where I’m having the issues. We don’t live in a very “safe” area of town. We have seen some rough stuff in our neighborhood, and I heard someone was killed here several months ago. For many reasons it’s typical to drive out of the neighborhood right into a lane full of 18-wheeler trucks. All that to say we love our house, but I’m not going jogging alone at night if you know what I mean.
Tonight I turned into the neighborhood and was driving the (really slow) speed limit. This person (I’m just assuming it was a young, selfish, immature guy) literally hugged the back of my van for almost a mile. It was dark outside, and he turned on his bright lights and kept flicking them on and off. He revved his engine each time I slowed down or turned on a curve, and when I turned to go towards my driveway, he screached past me almost hitting me (and my one year-old daughter). I don’t want to know what he was thinking or saying to me inside his big truck.
Even if I had not been convicted to make this change, I would never do that to someone. That is just extremely rude. I pulled into the driveway and asked Eric, “Did you see that guy?” He didn’t see it happen, but both of us were very angry. Eric started walking out on the road trying to find him. 
“Honey, you are more important to me than this! Please come home!” I’m pretty concerned that we live in a neighborhood where people have that kind of road rage on a 21 mph speed-limited road. “Lord! Please make me Amish!”
Kerrie asked a good question in the comments yesterday:
It’s a very hard habit to break; I have tried, but when you look in your rear view mirrow and all you see is a grill on the front of a big truck, what do you do?
I say, “Trust God and, then, maybe pull over if you can and let them pass.” Goodness. I know. It’s hard. I asked Eric, “So, does this mean I’m going to get killed for obeying the law?” I’m okay (really, I am, after years of nightmares and praying) with getting killed for being a follower of Jesus Christ, but for going the speed limit? This is crazy! If my final breath wanes in some brave struggle, I want it to be like a scene from Braveheart or The Patriot, not Driving Miss Daisy.
Maybe obedience is going to be harder than I thought.
The Real Deal
This week I’m begging God for the grace to help me finally kick a habit I’ve been enslaved to for years. Today is “day one” for me as the “new woman,” and I think I might get some strength from writing it here completely out in the open. I hope I’m not disappointing anyone, but I’m not talking about smoking, drinking, or overspending. I could probably use some help in the money area, but this addiction is to me pretty disgusting and I’m tired of it.
Speeding.
Yes. More specifically I mean speeding, weaving, maneuvering, rushing, and cutting off people in other lanes.
The Dr. at this weekend’s retreat briefly referred to this once during a message, and I was extremely convicted. I ask myself again, “What does this say about my character? What does this mean when my children learn to read that the speed limit is so many mph and I am going 5,10, or 15 over that?”
Maybe I don’t yell or drive like her (although my husband may actually beg to differ on the reckless driving part ), but I am realizing that the way I drive is totally inconsiderate, selfish, a bad example, and just plain sin. Not only that, but it’s unsafe! When I’m speeding, what I am really doing is disobeying the law. Oh, wow! What a profound thought that is. Sarcasm aside I feel like it’s time to stop pretending that it’s not a big deal and act like I mean it when I say I want to follow God with every part of my life.
This strong conviction from the Holy Spirit is coming to me after this past week’s lesson on hypocrisy in our church small group. Thankfully I have never been caught speeding or been in a car accident, but thank You, Lord, that You’re helping me stop now. How can I lead my children to obey God as much as they can at all times when I am cutting off this part of my life away from God when I drive in the car? How can I pretend to “walk in the light” of God’s Word when I am blatantly disobeying? Lydia even asks now sometimes, “Mommy, are you going to go fast today, or are you going to get us there on time?” What she’s asking is, “Can we not speed this time because we’re not going to be late?” This is from a three year-old! Really if the truth be told, the underlying problem is the speeding plus my terrible chronic habit of not watching the time and giving myself a fraction of the required time to get ready to be somewhere. My dad can remember the awful burden that is now on my husband’s shoulders. I’m so sorry!
I want to do better. Okay. So I’m driving home from church today; I work in the nursery on Tuesday mornings, and the kids and I usually go out for lunch with Eric at noon. I am startled at the Holy Spirit’s reminder of my conviction, and I slow down as I come out on the main street. Our city is pretty large, and to get home we cross over two bridges and enter and exit through a couple of highways and an airport. Needless to say our commute is pretty heavy with traffic, and normally I speed around all the huge trucks and “slow people” because I just don’t like to deal with slow people and want to get my kids home and settled as soon as possible. God reminds me, “Hmmm, so what was your excuse before you had kids?” Ouch.
Every time I slow down to meet the speed limit, someone is literally a few feet behind riding my bumper. Let me just say that I absolutely loathe bothering other people. One of my personality flaws is the constant nagging feeling of offending others, so I try to backpedal my way out of those kinds of situations. God is teaching me with every day, though, that my character and allegiance to Him are much more important than what people think of me. So here I am, chugging along going the speed limit all the way home. Woa, this is hard! One guy in a moving van has to wait behind me on a two-lane road until we get completely through the airport traffic. Boy, he is fuming and shouting at me when he finally gets the chance to swerve around me, and I feel about two inches tall. Then, when I get into my neighborhood, the poor guy behind me has to go twenty miles per hour for half of a mile until I turn on to my street. I hate every second of it.
That’s the hardest part. It is humiliating to go the speed limit. It makes me look like a total idiot. I know what those people are thinking because I have always been the one irritated at the “slow people.” Even though I’m in the right lane, everyone around me treats me with extreme anger and disrespect. “Goodness, Kristi. No one actually goes the speed limit.” Well, I don’t care anymore.
There’s no funny ending to this one I’m afraid. Maybe you can leave a comment to amuse or inspire me, but for now I’m just musing at home about how I’m fed up with it. I’ve had enough with this sin in my life, and I’m going to change. By the grace of God and the power and name of Jesus, I’m going to change. I’m going to put up my sticky notes with scripture on my dashboard. No longer am I going to be a jerk on the road, and I know God’s grace is in this. If you ever come to visit and get stuck behind me, I’m sorry! There is Someone watching me, though, and after many years of ignoring Him I’m deciding it’s the real deal and time to listen.
Pray for me! I’ll let you know how it’s going.
MCO Retreat
Eric and I returned this afternoon from a wonderfully refreshing time together, which was a retreat weekend for Medical Campus Outreach. It was at a gorgeous old plantation with marvelous views. We were so blessed to be able to lead them in worship this weekend, and our hearts were enriched and revived with fellowship and the preached Word of God. The speaker is a medical doctor serving as a full-time missionary, husband, and father to ten beautiful children. I think Eric and are still swelling from the wisdom he offered. He is so full of passion, wisdom, and love [from and] for Jesus Christ.
The medical students, doctors, and their families are becoming tremendous blessings in our lives. We are thankful for these times when we can get to know them more and see their love for God in action. They truly inspire and encourage us. Two of the doctors’ wives, Amy and Lisa, have large numbers of children who are being educated at home, and I absolutely love sitting at their feet and learning from discussing relevant topics with them. They are so joyful, and I look up to them a lot!
I wish I could share all that the Dr. H. taught us this weekend, but I am beyond spent and would do no justice to his teaching. I would like to summarize his main points, which, like everything he said, is firmly planted in the Word of God.
Margin in the Christian life
To grow and thrive as God desires Christians must allow some time every day to meet with God and a Sabbath every week. Followers of God must also have enough financial margin to be able to follow the Lord and minister to others as God opens doors. If no margin is there, there is dryness and ineffectiveness. I love how Dr. H. describes his story of graduating medical school and attacking the educational and consumer debt in eight years so that their family could leave and be full-time missionaries. He says the key is living modest, simple lives and cutting out debt and the desire to spend. He also recalls a time when he was given an opportunity to join a team full-time overseas but had to decline because he wasn’t ready financially and counts that as a regret and lesson learned in always working so that we can say “yes” when needs arise.
The effectiveness of scars
Everyone has wounds that have left terrible scars. If these wounds are not healed soon after the tragedy occurs, the scars can take much longer to mend. Some women suffer rape, abuse, and others have scars of death, accidents, or other tragedies. Some couples suffer through miscarriages, infertility, abortions, or infant death, and some people recover from powerful addictions. Doctor H. remembers a terrible time of loneliness during medical school. His point is that although we naturally try to ignore, bury, or forget the scars in our lives, we should realize that those are the very tools that God uses to make us most effective to minister the love of Christ to others. We can comfort others tremendously with these scars. He suggests that if someone is not sure where God wants to use him, he should look for scars in his life and with those scars he will find his ministry. (Wow! Good point!)
The importance of Christian leadership
Because this was a retreat for medical professionals, much of the teaching was geared towards them, but my husband and I still took his points and learned so much from them. He talked about leadership and how Christian leaders know the personalities of the people under their care. They know how to drive “plow horses” and how to steer “stallions.” They don’t usurp their authority but instead downplay it and serve others. When attacked with spears like David and Saul, they don’t retaliate but make peace and trust in God. Above all Christian leaders don’t look over their shoulders to see who, if anyone, is following. They do what is right in the eyes of God at all times, not the eyes of man.
This was some great stuff to my ears. Not only was this good, but the constant encouragement and appreciation from the group for Eric and me was fantastic. We were loved on this weekend, and we were blessed by a few days to be “Eric and Kristi” and not “Daddy and Mommy.” We really needed this, and I am so glad we had the chance to go. We look forward to doing this again in a few months!
(PS – The best part of the weekend was probably the two consecutive mornings of sleeping until 9 am… and taking a fat nap in the afternoon Saturday…and eating and talking with Eric with no fear of being interrupted or rushed! The funniest part of the weekend was Eric and I borrowing old bikes from the plantation and watching Eric on that bike looking like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. I told him he looked like Pee-wee Herman, but he said, “No, look at me. I’m Doc Brown.” Too bad I didn’t snap a picture.)
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