Steven’s Jeans
Maybe it’s in his genes. Who knows!
I’m referring to a new parenting challenge Eric and I have faced in the past few weeks with our two year-old son Steven. He seems quite obsessed with his jeans. Now I don’t mean any ‘ole jeans – only his pair of long blue jeans.
A few weeks ago he complained that he didn’t want to wear his shorts. He would ask, “Can I wear my jeans please, Mommy?” I explained to him that it was too hot to wear pants and that he would be running around and playing and become uncomfortable. The next thing that happened was that he would almost throw a fit when we would change him out of his clothes into his pajamas at night. He did not want to take off his shorts or pants. No big deal – most people don’t like to run around naked. That’s understandable. We said we’ll talk to him about it, and he’ll be so tired that he will just go to sleep. We didn’t want to produce or reinforce some kind of habit that we could see easily forming, but we wondered if we should just chalk it up to a phase of “liking his jeans” (we think because he would say, “like my Papa’s jeans”) and think, “Oh, how cute!”
Well, now it has become almost a daily battle. It’s not just about changing clothes anymore. He doesn’t want to wear ANYTHING on his legs but his long blue jeans! He doesn’t want to talk about anything else if he can’t find his jeans and put them on his legs. If Lydia takes his jeans or even tells him, “No, Steven, you can’t wear the same pants all the time,” he becomes angry and starts shouting. In the mornings he will get up and pull ALL of his shorts out of his third dresser drawer and throw them all over the bedroom floor looking for his jeans. Eric chuckled for the first couple of days, but after a week of that we agreed that this was getting out of hand. I have explained to him that he can only wear them so many times, and mommy has to clean them, and I have tried in my most loving and kind voice to tell him that he may not wear his blue jeans every day. (On second thought, however, maybe I should let him, and he could drastically reduce our clothing expense over the next couple of decades!) I know someone reading this might think we are pushovers, but we are trying to figure out why he is doing this. For a couple of days I thought it was because he was scared of being bitten outside (our kids are misquito magnets), but I don’t think it is that anymore. I have wondered if he is scared of skinning his knees because he experienced that a lot this Spring for the first time. I am trying not to see this as a silly minor issue because clearly there is a reason he thinks wearing jeans is so significant, and the sweet heart of my boy underneath all this crazy behavior is what I’m after. I cannot help but think that this can’t go on forever, though, I am going to keep firmly disciplining him for taking out his shorts in the mornings until he learns that this is not okay to do this.
This afternoon right before I put him down for a nap he had a really dirty diaper. When I changed him, I knew I was going to face a struggle because there was no way I was putting those stinky jeans back on him. Long story short, fifteen minutes after I tucked him into his bed he was still wailing about those jeans!
Have any of your kids ever become “attached” to something like this, not just the thing, but the wearing of the thing? It used to be so cute, but now it’s kind of annoying. We’ve wondered, “Is it a newfound sense of accomplishment because he can put them on by himself? Why wouldn’t he just be satisfied with his shorts then? Is it because he wants to be like his Papa who wears jeans almost all of the time when he sees him? Is it because of the misquitos? Is he just cold?” Are we going to have to tell him that jeans can become idols? I thought that was a discussion for 13 year-old daughters!!!!
Rejoicing in the Rack Room
Eric’s cousin Kerrie was married on Saturday, and their wedding was so sweet!
Something I liked that she did was have a flute solo for the processional – neat! And I also liked the cool shade of bridesmaid dresses – teal. My in-laws officiated (well, my mother-in-law accompanied all of the music) the ceremony, and my niece Hannah Grace performed her “flower girl” debut. The bride was beautiful, and the groom was very teary-eyed! ha! I think the Rack Room makes a beautiful family picture, don’t you?
more pictures at the Rack Room blog
Now I’m just waiting on Ashley to marry William, and we’ll be all set. Then we can have more babies in our family. I think we need some, right guys?! HA!
Congratulations to Kerrie and Jerry! Please don’t name your children Mary, Barry, Larry, Perry, Harry, or Sherrie!
Okay, I’ll shut up. (I thought it was funny.)
To the Unbeliever
I meet the sun and jays beyond my windowpane
My windowpane that opens to you, out there
My windowpane that cannot close me into myself
My windowpane that discloses this: I have one question on my mind
One question diverting into many
One question wrestling to be free from apathy
One question burning out of the hole in my heart
The heart that imagines your new life
The heart that is bruised by your hardness
The heart that wants to read your story, your face
The face of a sheep not of the fold yet
The face of the truly Alone
The face with real bone and flesh who shuts out this Man.
This Man, this Jesus.
He wreaks a shudder in fear, disgust, or disdain.
What do you do with this Man?
What do you say to this Man?
What do you want from this Man?
Your truth is begging to hide screams
That you want to know Him,
You want to see Him.
You want to love Him.
My heart feels the void of your unbelief
Almost as if it were mine,
But I do not comprehend the hatred
Of what you call possibility,
And what I call reality,
And what both of us will know in that Great Instant.
And though you seem my friend,
We are in this moment
Enemies.
What can I do with you?
What can I say to you?
No, I cannot put you out from my memory.
I see your face
Over and over
And I know there is groping behind those bones and flesh.
You wish to put me away
Because to you I am the very ignorance of the Rational.
Because I stare you in the face and beg you to believe.
Because I love the One who cannot be ignored or destroyed.
And I will do what He wants,
And the thirsty hole will not be filled
Until this Man is loved by thee.
(I really did wake up suddenly out of my sleep this morning to the sounds of the birds, and these thoughts and prayers were on my mind so vividly. I wanted to write them down immediately, and I could not keep them to myself.
And now that I have reread my thoughts two or three times, I am completely in tears as my mind’s eye floods with images of people I have met and known in my life who are without Jesus Christ. It’s as if God read my poem as my prayer and answered it with a caustic flood.)
On the go
Summer is usually “on the go” time for many families, and this month is packed (pun intended) with travels and events in our family. We have special birthdays, weddings, and trips out of the country, and I am praying that we survive and enjoy the coming weeks! This past week we were able to celebrate our nephew Samuel’s 10th birthday, Father’s Day with our dads, and the birth of our friends’ new baby girl Addison. It was good to see my sister almost 7 months pregnant with her first baby, and I spent a couple of nights at the home of my best friend from high school and college, Carrie. When Eric was gone with his dad and brother to a baseball game, we stayed up late eating junk food and talking in our pajamas. It was great fun!
Steven and Meredith enjoy some time on top of the dryer in the laundry basket.
Our blue hydrangeas are blooming, and they are gorgeous!
Lately I have been brave enough to try bathing all of the kids together in one bath. It is an experience! I took this picture about a minute before Meredith went UNDERWATER, and the rescue attempt nearly caused me to faint! Steven and Lydia were totally in the way, and it felt like it took me 20 seconds to get to her. Now I know how my midwife felt when Meredith was born and she couldn’t get into that deep tub of water! Terrible! I am slowly compiling a (LONG) list of “bad mother” events that have happened to me (or sometimes because of me) in the last 4 years, and perhaps one day (a long time from now) I will be bold enough to post it.
Naaaah. Probably not. Have a great week!
Good like a medicine
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I can’t believe another year has passed, and I have come again to the June 15th reading of Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening. It seems like it was just last week that I read it. Today’s delivery is a special one in my heart. It was the reason I chose “good like a medicine” for my blog name as I pondered the great joy of knowing Jesus Christ.
“I would have all those that hear of my great deliverance from hell, and my most blessed visitation from on high, laugh for joy with me. I would surprise my family with my abundant peace; I would delight my friends with my ever-increasing happiness; I would edify the Church with my grateful confessions; and even impress the world with the cheerfulness of my daily conversation. Bunyan tells us that Mercy laughed in her sleep, and no wonder when she dreamed of Jesus; my joy shall not stop short of hers while my Beloved is the theme of my daily thoughts. The Lord Jesus is a deep sea of joy: my soul shall dive therein, shall be swallowed up in the delights of his society. Sarah looked on her Isaac, and laughed with excess of rapture, and all her friends laughed with her; and thou, my soul, look on thy Jesus, and bid heaven and earth unite in thy joy unspeakable.”
I am in agreement with these passionate words. May you also know the abundant joy washing clean your most horrible doubts, fears, and sin: the joy which flows from the purest Source!
(PS – This is not the main reason I love Spurgeon so much, but don’t you think my husband kind of looks like him? Especially in this video after which he decided to finally cut his Spurgeon-like beard traveling down over his neck! he he he I have complete permission to embarrass him; after all I have every reason to mock my own laugh in the video….)
The Grand Little
It is the small that God counts as significant.Small tasks – done with contentment and gratitude.Small prayers – spoken with a heart of trust and belief.Small deeds – offered as someone’s benefit with no hidden agenda or motive.I think my blog is unfortunately about “me” so many times, and that is because often I do not take the opportunity to mention what wonderful things I am learning from God’s hand through my children. That is a pity, but everyone knows how busy life can be. Here are some of the things I am learning from them:
- Steven is teaching me that it is pure joy and completely normal to stop whatever one is doing and bow in prayer. He does it all the time. I will turn around, and there he is on the floor. He will get down on his knees and whisper the sweetest words preceded by, “Dear God…” And it warms my heart. Today he prayed, “Dear Godpleaseletmyfootgetbetter…” (he runs all of his words together). I was perplexed and looked down under his foot, and lo and behold there were 3 misquito bites on the bottom of it. You can’t say a two year-old doesn’t know about supplication!
- Meredith is teaching me more as an infant than the other two did. Well, I’m sure that’s not completely true, but I think I just notice things more with her than I did with her siblings. She is so alert! Her big, blue eyes race around the room and accompany her open-mouth grin as she does her famous “inhaling” laugh and claps her hands. She is keenly sensitive to our voices and facial expressions, and I am reminded of how much I want to teach her the happiness of a loving family.
- Lydia is asking more questions than ever, which should be expected I guess from a three year-old. I pray almost hourly, “O Lord, please let us be close always.” I want to be able to answer her questions, or at least say, “I don’t know right now, but we can talk about it later and find the answer together.” She is starting to draw letters and pictures on her own, and I am having some of those “parenting” moments that follow the realization that no,my child doesn’t need me for everything. Wow. Her prayers are so funny, too. This morning she prayed in a loud whisper, ” OH, AND GOD, PLEASE DON’T LET OUR NURSERY AT CHURCH BURN DOWN.” I have no idea, really.
We are extremely busy with all kinds of duties and activities as I’m sure most families are, but God by his grace has given me renewed energy and desire to do the small things that matter to no one else other than my kids and husband. When I have dinner on the table and a fun activity planned, the children seem to smile more and carry themselves with an attitude of expectation, and I love that. And when I fall short and things get crazy as Daddy comes in from work, the least I can do is offer a smile and refrain from the grumbling that can extinguish the joy of our home.I shared this earlier with a blogging friend: God has used what I mentally call “spanking prayers” to teach me so much and give me hope as I pray for our family. Disciplining children is never fun. I hate having to stop whatever we are doing and spank and/or make one of the kids stand along a wall or the chair, or wherever we are. But God has used those times in the last several months to make me more prayerful and God-centered than I was. Lydia and Steven know that when I tell them to “go to the wall,” they are going to be there for a while. Not just a few minutes, but long enough to ensure that they have really considered whether or not they want to disobey again and be this bored. They know that there is little to no talking, even from Mommy, during this time. It can be quite awhile (and even a spanking or two) if there is a lot of anger or defiance floating around in the room. They know that Mommy is going to sit right there the whole time, and for that reason I used to inwardly moan at how I was being “punished,” too. But one day I felt the urge to just use that time sitting there in prayer. I will sometimes bow behind my child, sometimes touching a back or shoulder, sometimes kneeling and crying, as I ask God to draw our hearts to His heart. Sometimes I see God shedding some new light on the circumstance, and the Holy Spirit begins prompting me towards a repentant spirit and my plan for apologizing for some sin of neglect, irritation, impatience, or pride towards my child. Although it can really slow down our day to stop everything for 10,20,45+ minutes, God is teaching me that these “small things” are huge and worth it. These have been the sweetest times for me to focus on my child and be broken before God, recognizing that God owns our hearts and produces all goodness within by the power of His Son alone.These are some small things I am learning, but I think they are quite large in the scheme of things. (Oh, and ps – thanks for all of your logo comments. I’m still pondering the decision. I decided I didn’t like the black image on white background because it made the angel look like a witch to me. The good thing about the first one – the white logo on black background – is that I can change the background color to fit any application, and it will still look nice. I am going to step away from it for several days, and come back to see how I feel.)
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