Honor your father and mother
“When the absoluteness of Jesus’ lordship demands from us, in one way or the other, that we be severed from our earthly mothers, there remains for us mothers a hundredfold in the eschatological family of God.
With regard to our attitude toward motherhood, Jesus demands of us no more, but no less, than He experienced Himself. His mother did not understand the nature of His mission, so that when she made an ill-timed request at the wedding in Cana, He responded, “O woman, what have you to do with Me?” In other words, I am free from all your motherly claims upon Me when you are not aligned with My divine mission . . .
In other words, Christ calls us from our conformity to this age into His transforming kingdom, and having freed us from every competing worldly allegiance-like motherhood-He then, in freedom, sends us back into these very institutions to maintain and to honor them; for He created them and ordained them for the preservation of orderly human life in this age.
But no longer do we honor them for their own sake or for ours; we honor them for God’s sake and for His alone. The Christian will obey the commandment, “Honor your mother,” but in his obedience there will always be the implicit Pauline footnote: “as serving the Lord and not men.” Every act of honor, obedience or submission in the institutions of this world order is to be an act of honor, obedience, and submission to the Lord Christ.” — J.Piper
Every now and then I need someone to realign things for me, or I travel down that familiar road of complacency, or worse, legalism. The above quotation from an article by John Piper concerning what he calls the “eschatology of motherhood” served the purpose to clarify and remind me of God’s plans for me as a mother to my children. God wants us in all of our parenting to obey and honor Him. God wants our children in all things to obey and honor us. Sometimes, however, I fail to realize that this obedience from our children to honor us is not the finality of God’s purpose. There is the promise given in Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” He wants children to honor and see the promise of blessing from God because God is good and does not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly! I wished I had the entirety of that verse memorized when I was younger trying to honor my own parents.
But what about the sharp words of Jesus in Luke 14:26? “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.”
I’m not going to attempt to explain all that this verse means. Piper does a great job in his article doing that. But how can I be a mother (and a wife, daughter, and a sister) and ignore that Jesus said this? This changes everything for me. This completes the baffling equation of the mathematics of honor for me as a mother.
My children aren’t supposed to honor me so that I may be honored. My children are called to honor me so that God may be honored. God brings a sword of division into the relationships within the family when he wants to be glorified and when he calls his children to stand up and testify their allegiance. In the end, it is Christ alone we follow, not any man (or woman). God doesn’t always call us to go against our parents’ dreams and hopes to follow him, but we should never be surprised if he does.
I thought about this yesterday for a while. When I look down the tunnel of childhood into adulthood for my children, what do I see? What do I want to see? Often I view the next ten or twenty years as this winding road of roses and thorns that usually culminates in the scene of my husband and me, smiling gently with our heads tilted to the side, resting on the floor of our living room, with a crackling fire, a big, mute (because everyone is mute in my dreams) springer-spaniel resting by our feet, and the melodies of Fernando Ortega and Phil Keaggy whistling in the background …. Our children are passing out home-baked cookies (recipes they created themselves of course) and affectionate expressions of love and endearment, sighing, “Ah, mom, dad, don’t we have the most wonderful family?” And then the quiet chuckles into a future repertoire of laughter as we rock in our chairs on the porch with our children and grandchildren on our knees . . . Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating. We probably won’t ever have a springer-spaniel. 
Seriously God has been gently tugging at my heartstrings lately about my visions of motherhood. Perhaps they are a little unrealistic at best! What is the purpose of training our children to honor and obey us? Is it so we can enjoy them forever, and they can enjoy us forever, and that is it? Not exactly. The chief end of man - is it not to glorify God and enjoy Him forever? There is a King, and we will one day all bow before him on our knees and faces. I am realizing that Jesus calls my daughters to a much higher obedience than to their parents. I am realizing that I want my son to ultimately be the servant of this King, not his mother! This changes everything for me. I don’t mean that they aren’t supposed to honor us, but this puts the honor in its proper situation. Daughters honor mothers, and mothers honor mothers, and so forth because we are honoring our King. (Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.) This is the big picture. Honoring our King may cause daughters to leave mothers or even appear to dishonor them if it means honoring the King first. How would I react if one day my children had to put me second in line in order to follow God? What if God “rips apart” our family at the barrell of a Muslim’s loaded gun in a foreign country (or in our own country, for that matter)? Who are they going to follow? Who am I going to follow? “Kristi, how could you think such things?!” You may say. Maybe God won’t divide our family so that he may be honored, but he might. No servant is above his Master.
It’s good to think about this because I know deep down it is my prayer for them to follow Him at all costs, and that is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. But it is a heavenly pill with the eternal blessing of “hundredfold in the eschatological family of God.”
Titus 2
I’d like to post an email that someone sent me tonight. Debra is in a small group Bible study that meets in our home weekly. She and her husband David have three beautiful, extremely joyful (!) older children who come with them, and they watch our children upstairs while we meet. She began educating them at home after years of public and Christian schooling, when she acted on a dream she had for years to homeschool. We have talked some about that, how I would love to see her in action and discuss my dreams for teaching and learning all over with my kids, and she has already been such an encouragement to me in the months we have lived here. She is presently having a very tough time with the serious illness of a family member, and she is spending most of her waking hours caring for her family and going to the hospital. Yet, she took the time tonight to send me this thoughtful email. I believe Debra acted on the instructions of Titus 2: 3-5, and I praise God for the joy of knowing older women who are disciples of Christ and take seriously the call to instruct and lift up younger women.
Hello Kristi,
I came home and started working on my day for tomorrow and just felt like I needed to write you this note . . . I remember how hard it was for me when my children were so small and needed so much of me. I felt like I had no time to myself, could never get a handle on the many baskets of laundry, diapers, just the neediness of two toddlers and a new baby. It is truly the most tired I have ever been in my entire life. Just the idea of having the responsibility of teaching amidst this time would seem more than I could take . . . The most important thing I can encourage you to do is have a regular reading time with your children. I did that with my children and that was some of the most precious time. We always had everyone’s favorite and then I would always bring in two or three new ones to read. Also, I encourage you that God has truly blessed you and Eric and entrusted these beautiful children to you and He will give you what you need to teach them when the time comes. I also encourage you to have your quiet time as a sacred time. I used to have my quiet time when my children napped. It was hard to do that when I saw so many things that needed my attention, but I could always handle things better when I took that time out for prayer and study. I know that you know these things and practice them, but it is always encouraging to be reminded. Eric has a lot of responsibilty at church and it is hard to get everyone in, the children and I can plan to meet you each Sunday at a certain place and time and help you get the children in[side] and get settled. We would be glad to do that, it could be a ministry opportunity for my children to help others. Think about that.
I am so looking forward to what God has for each of us in our journey of motherhood. I see so much of myself in you when our children were young . . . When the time comes God will give you the strength and patience you need to accomplish this task or give you the wisdom . . .
I cried when I read those thoughtful words from Debra. Why did I share them with you? I think this is a good example of what we need to be doing in the body of Christ. I believe God wants us to use our days to minister to others the way Debra has to me. Sometimes we see the faces of other people, and we think, “Oh, surely they’re fine. They don’t need my help.” That’s because many people (myself included) can plaster on this smiley face that tends to convey, “I’m superwoman/superman, so leave me be,” even if we’re actually struggling just to make it through the day and we indeed need a touch, a kind word, five dollars, a listening ear, or just some scotch tape! Or maybe we see someone who looks so needy that we’re overwhelmed or too selfish to help.
It only takes a few minutes to bless someone, doesn’t it? The blessings are tenfold when we take a few moments to look around and see where God wants us to help someone else, and the thoughtfulness we give from a humble heart is a sweet aroma to our Savior who died to give us this abundant life. Thank God for people like Debra!
Happy Birthday Lydia!
We had a party for her at home, and it was a great time. I don’t have any pictures yet because our camera broke (I know! What a terrible time for it to break!) But no worries, my mom let me borrow hers until we can buy the canon we want in a few weeks.
Here is the song we wrote for her on her birthday this year. We are trying to do this for each child’s birthday and make a tradition out of it. WE ARE SO THANKFUL FOR YOU, LYDIA!
Lydia’s 3rd Birthday Song
What do I hear in my ears?
Is it true that a birthday is here?
Someone please tell me because I can’t wait
I heard that her name is Lydia Kate
(chorus)
Tell me the story, please, Daddy
Read it to me, please, Mommy
There’s really a God who gave you a baby
But she’s not a baby anymore
She’s Lydia, Lydia, Lydia
And she’s growing into a big, big girl
What can our Lydia do now?
She potties and reads books out loud
She dances, and giggles, and plays while she sings
Her happiness brings out the smile of her King
Why do we sing you this song?
We hope that it’s not too long
Lydia, our baby girl, you have all of our love
For Lydia we say “thank You” to God above
My ears + today’s pulpit “The Mystery Disclosed” = Sustained vision for my life and calling
Have you ever read a passage of Scripture and obtained a fresh understanding for it, whether it be expository comprehension, historical background, or specific practical application? I don’t mean that you change the interpretation of the words, but that God uses it to convey to you how he is supreme, and he does it in a brand-new fashion?
I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. — Ephesians 3: 7-9
How could anyone wade in the tasteless waters of boredom or apathy when the trees of life are dripping with saps as these?! These words pierce the eyes of my heart and give me strength and joy in the -hoods I wear as wife and mother.
Me, God?
You want me to uphold this man in his needs, tasks, desires, and vision?
You want me to take care of these children, and train them for eternity?
But I am the most unworthy for this calling!
“This grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery . . . “
What a huge task.
The only thing I know how to make plain is a sandwich.
Thanks be to God for his gift — JESUS!
I am a servant of this gospel, and a pioneer to those who remained veiled to this mystery.
It’s not just about "having babies…"
Here is another reason I believe in having children and working as hard as my mind, body, and spirit will allow, so that I may raise warriors who FIGHT for Jesus and HOPE in the glory of God . . .
Who would have thought that, as Mark Noll says in Books and Culture (March/April 2002), “While European Christianity has become archaeology and North American Christianity hangs on as sociology, Christianity in ever-expanding sections of Africa, Latin America, and Asia is dynamic, life-transforming, and revolutionary—if often also wild, ill-informed, and undisciplined”?
And what utterly unforeseen things might the future hold? Lots of danger and lots more than danger. Here is one of Jenkins’ speculations:
The next 20 years or so could well be the worst and the most dangerous period. [But] all around the world, there’s a major demographic change. Surprising areas are now experiencing the kind of demographic transition that Europe experienced 30 years ago, and fertility rates are declining very dramatically. For instance, just in the last 20 or 30 years, Iran has gone from six children per woman to two. In other words, the U. S. now has a higher fertility rate than Iran. Now that’s of interest in its own right, but it also means that in 15 or 20 years, you’re going to have far fewer young men of the sort who represent the violent, active militant groups. It’s quite likely that there will be a decline of religious conflict. But in the intermediate time, it’s a very dangerous situation indeed. (Christianity Today, Nov. 2006 50/11, p. 103)
How can we not get on our knees with a fresh sense of trembling expectation and ask our prayer-hearing God for Christ-exalting, global impossibilities beyond anything the last one hundred years have seen?
This quoted from John Piper’s most recent freshwords.
Twenty Little Toes!
Yes, my pal Emily over at tenlittletoes is going to have to rename her blog!
I hate to post about her baby before she does, but we all know that she doesn’t have time for such things now!
Baby Caroline was born this afternoon, and the whole family is doing great! WE LOVE YOU GUYS. I can’t wait to see pictures posted!
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