Little House in the Suburbs – A Birthing Story
I have received several emails recently concerning homebirth and what that was like for our family. I debated whether or not to blog about it and then what to mention (and what to omit) if I did blog about it. Oh well. I’m not confident that this will suffice for me to communicate what I have mentally (or emotionally) processed from our homebirth, but I’ll try.
(If you don’t want to read this huge novel that follows, just know the gist: I think homebirth is fantastic!)
I am just one woman of millions who has delivered a child outside of a hospital, and this is just my story. To God be the glory. He creates life. He opens and closes the womb. He sustains our every breath, and I think every mother would agree that it is a humbling privilege to bring another human being into the world, no matter how it happens! I hope our story is fun to read and encourages others who are expecting or who just love babies. I just realized that this will be something neat to put in Meredith’s baby book – so feel free to leave her a word of encouragement in the comments 
(You’re not allowed to say, “Your Mom and Dad are nuts.”)
I won’t spend too much time detailing the events of the previous births of Lydia and Steven, but to summarize them: they were relatively short, wonderful (but painful), natural births with no complications or “surprises.” Lydia was born in the hospital in FL with a CNM (certified-nurse midwife). Her active labor lasted 13 hours. 17 months later Steven was born at the same hospital, but the OBGYN’s office had “let go” all of the midwives (not bringing enough business I believe was the reason). We had a doctor who delivered him after four hours of active labor. Fast-forward 17 months – again! Meredith was born in our home. Her birth will always make this house a special place for us because it was such a wonderful memory. Here’s what I can conclude about having a homebirth – my thoughts, suggestions, and favorite aspects about it.
- Why did I want to have our baby at home? Hmmm …. Why did I want to jump out of an airplane in college? Why did I ask my gymnastics coach to work on a full twist with me just 2 months after I sprained my ankle (for the 4th time)? Why did I want to take Japanese for two years in school when I knew it would be the hardest language course I had ever taken? The answer to all of these: I’m not sure, but it probably has something to do with my driven and somewhat adventurous personality that knows “no limits” at times and completely trusts that God is taking care of me. Now I know what you’re thinking. Yes, some people thought we were insane (or maybe silently the word was “irresponsible”) for even considering it. My doctor even told me on his back porch at a party how bad the idea was before we moved. Ask my parents and my husband. They’ll agree that often times I get an idea in my head (or heart), and I’m not going to budge until I at least try it. After all, I thought I should, since the last two births went very well and I was healthy this time also. I didn’t want to have medication again. We didn’t have terrible experiences at the hospital. We had good deliveries there with great professionals. Eric and a friend named Cindy were AWESOME coaches! I just remember thinking that it must have been nice for moms with healthy labors “way back when” to be in their own beds with their husband and other family members present. I guess I had romantic ideals – silly some may say – but I thought it sure would be nice to bring a baby into the world in my own bedroom with my husband coaching me all the way. He’s a pro. And I’m not the only one involved here, right? Isn’t it about the baby? Eric and I felt completely comfortable about the baby being born at home. That’s really important before a family decides to do something like this. So . . . the desire grew I guess you could say . . . and the prayers started in that direction. You should be praying about your delivery all throughout pregnancy I think, no matter what your plans are.
- Our situation was somewhat unique, in that we moved halfway through the pregnancy. As Eric considered jobs and the possibility of going back to school in SC, I found a listing of midwifes online that performed homebirths. One was Lisa, the one who became our midwife. She served the exact two cities where Eric was looking for school/job and the counties in-between them! So I thought that I should definitely call her. I actually emailed her, and she called me within a few days. After a lengthy phone conversation, I called Eric. “I LOVE her. She’s great!” I said. So I will say that if you want to have a good delivery, find someone you LIKE to help you. If someone is a jerk, or you are just a number to them, it doesn’t make you feel supported or comfortable, to say the least. This is America, and it’s fortunate that women have rights to choose these things! I know for some people that may not seem true because of insurance, and I plan to discuss that briefly later.
- Here’s how my appointments were with Lisa. They lasted 2 hours on average. She greeted me at her back doorstep, and I went inside to where her office was located. She always had a friendly smile for me, even if another woman’s visit had just ended and she didn’t have a break. I did my samples and weight for her first, and her assistant and nurse would look at those. Then I would sit down on her couch and we would discuss the same things – my stress level, my spiritual well-being, what I was eating lately (important!), exercise, how things were going with the other kids and with Eric, and any physical problems that might have manifested themselves since my last visit. On one particular occasion, Eric and I had some financial stress going on, and I just sat and cried for what seemed like forever, and she talked, listened, comforted, and prayed. She was more than just a midwife! I would get comfy on her examining table while she and her assistant checked my vitals and felt the baby’s position. She took the time to explain terms to me (occipital, anterior, etc.) and showed me how I could try to feel baby’s body parts on my own at home. I always left her house feeling so wonderful about my pregnancy and even more excited about the baby!
- By 37 weeks I had some reading to do. I had bags that needed to be prepared, and Lisa and her staff made a home visit and shared lunch with our family. There was much more responsibility on my part I think than my last pregnancies because someone was there telling me, “You need to be doing this to prepare….” I had to read a book about Group B Strep
and my options. I had to sterilize linens and clothes for the birth and pack them away, and I had to have all the emergency information ready and visible “just in case.” My back-up plan was for a doctor a good ways from our home (with a CNM that I had visited at 36 weeks), and plan “C” was the hospital (treated as an emergency visit) right near our house. I will mention more about that below. Lisa and I were on the same page when it came to what to put into my body. I was willing to go on a regiment of liquid chlorophyll, red raspberry leaf tea, vitamin C, and holistic prenatal vitamins to try to boost my body to be as healthy as possible. Of course the most important thing was always, “Drink your WATER.” I liked the fact that my midwife focused so passionately on nutrition because I always wondered why this was mysteriously “left out” of the visits I had in past pregnancies. It seemed to me like “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” I was completely honest with Lisa. “I’m craving chocolate like crazy and gave in yesterday!” And she would scold me in a way and say, “It’s your body, your baby.” Ouch! Anyway, moving on . . .
As far as the birth itself, I really don’t think it could have gone any better. I woke up that morning with a “bloody show.” (Thank You, Lord!) I love signs that tell me what’s going on. Eric had just left for work. “Turn around. Come back!” That morning we just played at home with the kids. I unloaded the dishwasher and folded clothes. We ate turkey sandwiches for lunch and went outside for a while. I wasn’t having contractions closely together at all, but when they did come, they were very painful! “This isn’t how the other two labors were at all!” I told Eric. I confess that I started to really worry if I would be able to manage this pain. Lisa kept calling (she lives about an hour from our house) and said to monitor and call her back regularly and let her know. I kept saying, “They hurt badly, but they are still 15-20 minutes apart!” Weird.
Well, my mom made it to our house at 3 pm. We decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. That is one of the best memories of the whole thing for me. I would stop every few minutes to lean on Eric in pain, and I just know my neighbors were thinking, “Uh, shouldn’t she be getting into the car?!” I remember vividly my mom pushing Lydia and Steven in the double-stroller down our street. Lydia’s head kept popping around the side to look back at us. She was really worried about me. Mama said she kept saying, “Go back and check on Mommy.” Well, that did it. I didn’t even make it past 8 houses because they started coming so closely. We kind of hurried back to the house, and I called Lisa. “They’re coming pretty close now – like every 2-5 minutes!” She said she’d be on her way. I tried to rest on the couch for a bit, but I was quite excited and walked around the house, thanking God that labor was eminent and thanking Him that He was there and he had allowed us to get everything finished literally the night before the baby’s birthday.
I labored on the floor by my bed, just sitting on my knees. That turned out to be the most comfortable way. It must have been a little more than an hour when Lisa and Katie knocked on the door. Lisa was very concerned that she didn’t have enough time (she must have had a talk with God on the way). She and Katie stripped the bed, put on the new sheets, and got out all the equipment while I parked it on the floor for contractions. I tried one on the bed, and I screamed in desperation because it hurt so badly. “No way!” I thought. I’ll just stay on the floor. “What happens if the baby comes out and I’m squatting on the floor?” I asked. “We’ve got these mats to catch the mess,” she said. She must have known I wasn’t worried about the baby but worried about blood going everywhere. A little before 6 pm I wanted the comfort of a hot bath. “That’ll help,” I thought. They ran the hot water, and I got in quickly. It did help. A lot. So much that Meredith just decided to come out and see what the bath was like! I had a mere 2 to 3 contractions in there before she was born, and I thought to myself, “Oh my word! She’s going to fall out!” Lisa had just checked. I was at 7 cm, so I kept thinking, “I CAN’T push her out like this. I have to wait!” Well, one more contraction came, and my water broke. I screamed, “There went my water!” and as I did, Meredith pushed out so forcefully that I didn’t have time to move and had some nerve damage in my legs because of it! Eric was shocked, and Lisa, too. They caught the baby together, leaning into the water, and I sat back in amazement as Meredith came against my chest for the first time. It was awesome, and so was our God.
Oh, some of you might be wondering what we did for childcare for the other two small children! A new good friend from church agreed to drive over during labor and take care of them at our home. Because I knew I was in labor in the morning, however, my mom was there as soon as she could get in her car and come! She and my dad had the kids in their arms walking through the front door at the exact moment that my water broke and Meredith pushed out. How is that for God’s perfect timing?! (Funny, though. To this day Lydia thinks that “Mrs. Lisa screamed so loudly when Meredith was born!”) It was great how that all worked out to the benefit of everyone involved.
Lisa of course stayed with me for the hours afterwards, and she returned the next day and 3 days later to follow-up. She ordered a full week of bedrest for me, which I can truly say I think helped 
more than anything post-partum. I think that made the difference of my energy level being much better this time around. She sat on the foot of my bed 3 days after the birth and cried with me as I told her how hard it was for me to listen to all the fun downstairs and how scared I was of my mom leaving and me being on my own. She said that before she raised her seven children, she was the same way…. “You are going to have to ‘let go’ of a lot of things that don’t matter in the end, Kristi,” she said. I will remember her compassion and genuine concern for me more than anything she said. I’m going to see her in a few days for my 6-weeks check-up, and I look forward to it.
With such a great experience, there’s really nothing that I should regret, but there a few things worth mentioning in hindsight that we wish we would have been prepared for going into it. First, I’m not sure about other states and other countries, but in SC there is a law that requires a woman to visit an OBGYN twice during the pregnancy to receive approved status to have a homebirth. I went to the OBGYN office that was refrerred to me by Lisa. The midwife there was great. I would have seen her had there been an emergency during labor and if we had time to make it to the hospital for her to deliver (plan “B”). Although this visit was required by law for me, the office did not accept insurance because it was not their policy to do so for homebirth patients. I did not know that, and Lisa didn’t either because it was a new policy as of the previous month, so the cost for the visit was out-of-pocket. Second, my midwife’s policy (and most midwives’ policies) required us to pay up-front as well for her services. We were thinking, “That is fine,” but we didn’t seriously think through the ramifications of how tight that would make our pocketbook during a very transient time for us. Additionally there were the little costs (that added up) of lab tests, birth supplies, and prescriptions for medications during/after labor if they were needed (and I actually needed one of them afterwards because Lisa wasn’t convinced that I had stopped bleeding enough for her to feel comfortable). It was really tight for us financially for several weeks, but God provided 
every penny we needed. Now I tell people that consider homebirth to consider the out-of-pocket expenses (kind of like adoption) before they decide to do it. Last, consider that you will not be looked kindly on for this choice by some people, and those people may matter to you in the end, should you need them for their services. Ultimately it is the woman (and her husband if happily married) who chooses to birth at home, and like many things in life, the responsibility may negatively affect the response of various people involved. It’s a good idea to talk to people who have done it or midwives who have done it for years and hear wonderful stories if you are interested.
So, folks, that will be it, I guess. Disappointed that you didn’t hear more about my placenta? Well, I’m sorry. I’ll save that for family holiday get-togethers (just kidding)! I’m just so thankful for our sweet Meredith and that she came quickly, safely, and in our own bathtub. Maybe she will be a professional diver someday! It was certainly worth all of the preparation and prayer, and it will be a day in our home that we will always treasure in our hearts. God is so good . . .
"Pull over on Union Street!"
Do you like shirts with college names printed on them? You can find hundreds here, and they sell them for $2.00! Do you need some running shorts, tank tops, or towels? Get them here for CHEAP! They even have some baby clothes and linens, although the selection’s not great for those. My FAVORITE part: you will walk in the door and see bolts, bolts, and MORE BOLTS of sewing, quilting, decorating, and upholstery fabric!
Don’t stop at the front room. Through a big doorway you will find more bolts in hundreds of beautiful shades and patterns. Just when you think your eyes are getting tired, you can walk through the back doorway to a GIANT warehouse where even more bolts are lined up for hundreds of feet! You can get these fabrics for half the retail price and even less sometimes. I saw a red and beige striped fabric for $8.00 / yard there that was $16.00 last week at Hancock Fabrics! I told my mom, “I’m never getting fabric anywhere else.” Eric and I have been there before, but it was several years ago while I was in college. They only had the first large room with some shirts and fabrics. Now you can buy all of the aforementioned stuff – plus batting and fringe for projects! If you don’t find something you like there, I would be really surprised.
Okay, I guess I sound like I’m pitching for a commercial. Sorry! But if you like to make things, recover furniture, sew, or you just want some clothes for cheap – you must visit this place! You’ll save some money and make the sweet old lady at the checkout counter so happy. God willing I’ll be posting pictures in the future of some curtains and home projects with fabrics bought from here. I was so overwhelmed when I walked through there this time that I just took some swatches home. I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money because – oops – there’s a NO RETURNS policy!
So pull on over on Union Street if you ever drive through Spartanburg, and find some great deals!
NOAH!
“My child, let Me remind you that I am sovereign.”
God is so good to me. The other day Lydia wanted to go outside after lunch, and I told her to go ahead and I would bring her some shoes and water in a few minutes. I opened the back door, she went out on to the deck, and I got her cup from the kitchen. Just as I was about to get her shoes from the garage, I thought, “Wait, I should just go ahead and go out there with her.” I just had that feeling. Well, when I went outside, she was going down the third step of four that meets the grass below. IMMEDIATELY I saw it. There was the looming head of a brown SNAKE, hissing below the step – front and center, as if it were waiting for something to move! I grabbed Lydia and yelled for Eric to come get it, as I am not the adventurous type when it comes to snakes. Eric chased it away into the creek behind our yard, and I told Lydia we must thank God for his mercy that she didn’t go down into the grass and have the opportunity to get hurt. God is good. I guess we can’t send our kids out into our yard without shoes anymore!
On a more amusing note, last night we were in a clothing store. Lydia was hiding in the shirts on the rack behind me while I looked at some sweaters on the next row of clothes. Suddenly she jumped out of the clothes and said, “Look, Mommy!” First of all, she was pointing to a girl walking by and said, “She painted her hair orange!” Unfortunately EVERYONE heard her including the girl! But what was really funny was what she said after I turned b
ack around to look at the clothes. She screamed about five times, with a crescendo each time she said it, “Noah, NOAH! NOAH! NOAH!” I turned around and saw her pointing to a sweatshirt with Santa Claus stitched on the front. She thought Santa was Noah, and I just laughed so hard out loud. Now everyone really was staring at us, and I looked at the woman next to me and said, “She doesn’t know about Christmas yet, and she thinks that’s Noah.” I told Eric later, and we got quite the laugh talking about it. I was thinking afterwards about our discussions concerning Christmas, even from the days when we were only dating, with the hope being that Jesus takes much more priority over Santa Claus in our family traditions. Well, I guess for now I’ll have to settle for Noah!
Little things are big at our house!
Yay for the potty girl
We went on a retreat last weekend with the 5th-graders from our church. Pastor Steve asked Eric to lead music and for both of us to share about times in our lives in which we trusted God in difficulties. Our kids had a wonderful time, and the place was beautiful. It used to be a rice plantation a couple hundred years ago. We had fun eating together, singing, studying the Bible, and playing outside with the children. We did a family “first,” which was sleeping together in one, big bed! Lydia didn’t sleep much. Eric said she kept waking him up whispering, “Heyyy Daddy, can I touch your face?” Adorable, I think, at least for the first twenty minutes!
the entrance – the landscape was so pretty
“Not so fast, guys! You need someone a little older to take out that canoe!”
“I guess you can go with me, Mommy”
The kids take a swing with Emily and Maddie
“Watch where you point those things!”
Steve, our children’s minister, and Eric in the water
Meredith will definitely remember this one, don’t you think?
Brain Traffic
Either I’m getting more sleep, which is causing more random thoughts to come back into my head, or the lack of sleep is really taking a toll on my brain! Thoughts that have passed through my mind in the last few days . . .
- One of the BEST parts of carving a pumpkin has to be eating the roasted pumpkin seeds! YUM! Did you know that these Cucurbita maxima are nutritional powerhouses for their small size, and they can promote really good health? (Hey, they are the WHF “food of the week!” Cool!) Well, I just think they’re plain TASTY! Eric carved a happy face into our big pumpkin with the kids the other night (great job, honey), and we ate a big bag of cooked seeds afterwards.
- I DID NOT KNOW! My husband has never ever seen one of my favorite childhood movies, second or third only to The Phantom Tollbooth, or the all-time girly blockbuster hit The Hugga Bunch. Last night he actually sat on the couch and made fun of me. I said, “I’m SERIOUS! There is a flying purple-people-eater MOVIE, and I can’t believe you’ve never seen it. Go ahead. Look it up!” What? You mean you’ve never seen it either?! Come on! It has Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Little Richard in it! Now I know you’re all jealous of the amzing childhood I had Do you want to know how we got on this subject? I mistook this guy for him at a glance. (Hey, I never said I was smart.)
- I’ve never been so excited about visiting the library. I took my kids to toddler storytime today for the first time, and we checked out some books and videos afterwards to take home. It’s really my first time getting out to do something like this since Meredith was born. You know, it’s really a great outing for kids – they get to meet other little children, and the excitement of borrowing checked-out books/movies is a highlight of their day.
- I LOVE my life. Anytime I’m tempted to complain, besides hitting the Word, I need to remind myself how blessed I really am. I know, I can dwell on the comparison of living in abundance here in the US, but honestly, even without that thought, I am simply blessed by God. The smile in my heart leads me again to the caption of my life: “Far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” – Galatians 6:14
- My children are an adorable joy to me. I have my moments of complete frustration, but a lot of that can truly be attributed to hunger and fatigue on my part. I had mastitis this week (no need to look it up, men . . . if you don’t know what it is, just think of my placenta picture and how you don’t want to know)! It seems that I have some issues with nursing in a sense that makes me prone to this difficulty. I told Eric yesterday, “God is showing me just how much I really love these children. The truth is, for me, natural childbirth has actually been the easiest part of the whole process! Everything else has really been so hard on my body, and I feel like a big whimp sometimes. But to think of what my body has gone through and how I would do it ALL over again for these beautiful children proves how much love God has put in my heart for them.” I would lay down and die just to know they are okay.
- I have a SUPER husband. I wanted to surprise him with a date night to a concert in a few weeks, but it just won’t work with our schedule. So I spilled the beans and told him my plans tonight. I figured he should know what I was up to because that would show him how he was on my mind and how I miss our romantic nights out even though this one won’t make it on our calendar. He has no idea how many times a day I think of him and smile.
- I wonder what Jesus did, what kind of facial expression did he make, when he was with a toddler and the child threw a complete tantrum?
- Sliced avacodos on plain romaine lettuce makes a great, easy salad.
- I’m in charge of planning my high school reunion, and I need to get going on early organizing. I feel like I’m having “planners block.” Anyone got any suggestions for something fun and different for 500+ people to do at a reunion? I keep picturing a giant game of red-rover (kidding).
- I’ve been wanting to invite my neighbor’s kids, teenagers, to church with me. I need help getting 3 small children into a big church, and they need to see Jesus. So I’m thinking of inviting them to ride with me, help get us all into the building, and go to contemporary worship. My problem is that I want to play my trumpet, so where would they go when I’m playing in another service? I have run into this dilemma for years, and it frustrates me so much. I quit playing the trumpet in college at church because I wanted to invite my unbelieving friends. I wasn’t going to invite them and then say, “Okay, I’m going up front to play – go have fun sitting by yourself.” Serving and reaching out are both important. So, what do you do about serving in the church, if you want to invite people with you? If anyone has ever managed to figure this one out, I’d like to know.
- Some of my favorite words to say this week with Lydia: majestic, bargain, privileged, permanent
- Good Will is fabulous. If you aren’t frequenting your local Good Will retail store, you’re missing out. Someone told me once that it was embarrassing to say you shop there. Sorry he thought that because you can get some great stuff there! At my last visit I spent nine dollars and went home with some plain white bumper pads (going to cover them with fabric to match Meredith’s room), a dark green Gap fleece jacket, a couple kids’ videos, a rod / pole to use for hanging a quilt on the wall, a mirror, and some candleholders.
Worth dying for
Man, was today’s sermon EXCELLENT! I just love Sundays.
I’m itching to talk about it. Since I’m exhausted and almost asleep, though, I’ll have to settle with writing a tiny bit about it. If you’ve read any of my archives at all, you know how much I LOVE to write about heaven. Our pastor preached an incredible sermon today concerning this “weight of glory” that awaits every one of us who claim Jesus as our Savior and King. He described how our ultimate pleasure and hope lies in the assurance of eternity. Doesn’t it just get your blood pumping to think about being there with Jesus one day?! My mind drifted off during the sermon (not unusual since it’s always racing), and while he was talking I kept picturing Aslan from Narnia and Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. And also I thought of that great Helm’s Deep scene in “The Two Towers” film of Lord of the Rings in which the sun rises and OUT comes the magnificent wave of warriors, led by Gandalf, rushing to rescue the scarred and weary warriors of the night. Our King sits at the right hand of God, and one day, like a wild, rushing tsunami, we will see him face to face! That’s enough to make you want to scream for joy!
Anyway, if you want to know what stuck out most to me, here are some thoughts. I hope it gets your eyes and heart going upward beyond your screen to the noble land prepared for those who love Him.
Ephesians 2:12 – Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world.
Using that verse as a springboard, our pastor made these key statements:
“I believe that we are asleep to the hope of heaven . . .”
- Man cannot live consistently without hope.
- Nothing ultimately satisfies unless it is bathed in the light of eternity.
When we FORGET heaven, our hope DIES, and man cannot live without hope in his spirit.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity – “If I find myself a desire which no experience in this world can fully satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world . . . earthly pleasures cannot satisfy it (my deepest desires), but only arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or to be unthankful for these earthly blessings, an on the other, never to mistake them for something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find until after death . . .”
I cannot even touch on all the implications of grasping this! If you’re interested in listening to the entire sermon, actually, just click here. There is so much more that I can’t share – that’s why he’s the preacher, and I’m out in the congregation! But anyway, I loved the practical application he made as he closed his sermon. He said, “I want you to shut yourself in a room this week – 15 minutes per day – and consciously think about the light of eternity…. think of some pleasure you have enjoyed that day, whether it be a beautiful sunset, a child’s laugh, an amazing meal, etc. and MULTIPLY it in your mind . . . make it a million times more in your mind, and point your thoughts towards the hope of heaven . . . “
I can already do that tonight, only hours after I heard the sermon. I took Lydia to get dinner and a “treat” for going to the potty (we’re almost potty-trained!) this afternoon.
On the way home Lydia asked, “Mommy, can you turn down the radio?”
“Yes, honey. Why?”
“Mommy, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.” (Oh, to melt a mother’s heart!)
I can take that GEM of a memory in my mind, multiply it a million times, and that is a glimpse of my hope of heaven with Jesus. Now that’s worth dying for.
quick feed
bookmarks
photos and small videos
email me
