Feels like home
(Here are some pictures from Meredith’s birth and first few days…)
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Meredith is asleep, and I’m sitting here listening to Norah Jones as I go through some mail and write a few letters. My mama just drove away a few hours ago, and I know it hasn’t hit me yet that she’s really gone. Still, it truly feels like home, and it’s largely because my mother made it that way this week.
My mama is (besides my dad) the hardest working person I know. Granted she can go on very little sleep, which frustrates me like crazy, but she truly never tires of serving others. It is her spiritual gift, and everyone who knows her knows that she’s going to give you the shirt off her back and then help you put it on if you need help doing that, too. Her heart and energy haven’t always amazed me; I guess I just grew up thinking that everyone has a mom like that, that wearing yourself out for the sake of your family is just something every mother does naturally… but I have learned as an adult that no, not everyone has this gift, and not everyone wants it. Many people are selfish with their time and energy, and they assume someone else will pick up the slack. My mama isn’t one of those people. She answers the call, day-in and day-out, and she goes the second mile all the time.
I know I said ‘thank-you’ hundreds of time this week, but I still just wanted to write publically how grateful I am for my servant-hearted mother. You would be amazed to see how hard she worked this week. From the time she arrived Thursday afternoon (I was just beginning active labor), she started running around doing all that needed to be done. Eric jokes about how the washer and dryer never stop when my mom is here, but we are truly thankful that she just looks around and cleans what is dirty and puts away what needs to be organized. She does it naturally, and I love that peace of mind that comes with her visits. She took care of me in the bed every day after Meredith was born, bringing food, water, medicines, and everything else I needed up and down the stairs, over and over. She tried to keep the kids happy and quiet, and on top of all of that she was hostess, cook, and maid!
Tonight before she left we had a quiet moment together eating at the table in the kitchen. Eric had arranged f
or a friend to keep Lydia and Steven while he worked late at church, so we could spend a little time together before she left around 6:30 to go home. When my mom prayed and thanked God for me, I lost it and began to cry like a newborn myself! I said, “Mama, why’d you have to go and do that? You got me all emotional!” But I am glad we could have that memory together. I held out my hand and took a backwards shot of us together, just to cherish the moment. Then, she packed up her things and headed for the door. Lydia and Steven were born 8 hours away from her, so I cried terribly after she left with both of their births. This time was a little easier, but my heart still sank to see her drive away, knowing that a lot of my strength was going with her . . .
She’s said it before, and I know it’s true: “If I can do it, so can you, and you know Who will give you the strength!”
I’m so thankful for my mama … and (haha) I hope she’s not reading this at work because she will probably need some kleenex! I love you, Mama!
Poetry is good like a medicine . . .
I like to do something with my hands when I’m bored, tired, or having a hard time, such as writing, playing music, crafting, sewing, etc. They are my God-given natural outlets. Every mom with a newborn knows how hard it is at the beginning when the baby has day and night mixed up, and mommy is having to switch her body around to accomodate the shift in sleep cycles. My goal in doing this the third time around is to be calm, patient, rest when I can, and not get frustrated at my baby or my husband during the night when it’s so easy to do out of impatience and sleep-deprivation. I don’t think I’ve done too well so far the first 4 or 5 days. I’m pretty tired.
The other element going on is my week-long challenge of bedrest. I say “challenge” because I have never had to do this in my life, and I am always going-going-going anyway, so it’s really hard for me to stay put in the bed for several days. All of the laughter, food, and fellowship is just below my bedroom downstairs, and hearing it is almost like punishment for me at times. My midwife ordered me this week of rest, though, and I respect her instructions and caretaking. Our families have been a big help (having a homebirth means you get to rest in your own bedroom, but you rely on family just as you would the nursing staff at the hospital). My mom is here for a full week, doing a million things to help and take care of us, and we are SO THANKFUL! I know that it would be so much harder without the help, and I can’t imagine how hard it would be to get up at night without the ability to take some naps during the daytime. Still, nighttime is difficult, and I am easily tempted to complain about how this sweet baby only cries from midnight to 4 am! I wrote my thoughts in a poem concerning this a few years ago and wanted to revisit it this week as I struggle again with this task . . .
“Grace for Duty Found in Christ” by Kristi 2004
Based on Scripture Psalm 121
As toil and woe approach my bed
And beckon me to rise
I hear Your voice within my soul
That brings life to my eyes
Another rising of the sun,
A gift to live anew
”Herein my Lord is pleased with me,”
When heaven is my view.
Each passing hour, each duty found
To be a task of care
The baby’s cry, or body’s meal
Is only fed with prayer.
Before the waning hours of light
Your grace my heart does feel,
For in my slumber-darkened night
Your hand is working still.
PS – For those wondering, Meredith weighed 8 pounds and 14 ounces, much less than expected! She was long, though (22 inches). She seems so tiny compared to her brother and sister!
We have a new baby!
Our new DAUGHTER was born yesterday on the first day of my favorite season – Fall!
Her name is Meredith Annette.
God blessed us with a wonderful labor and delivery and has already given us so many wonderful memories to cherish. To Him be all the glory!
PS – Today is my 1-year anniversary of blogging! What a wonderful way to celebrate!
Waiting . . .
is good for you!
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint. (From Isaiah 40)
I am still waiting for my body to tell me that it will be hours before this little blessing arrives. I know it’s getting closer because I’m seeing some of the tell-tale signs that I have seen before in the last two pregnancies, and I hope to have an uplifting, God-glorifying story to share with you within the next several days.
I think I am more excited about this birth than the previous ones because of 3 reasons: 1)My husband and I actually feel like our home is ready and that we have had a little time to “breathe” after moving here and getting settled (we moved in our house 3 weeks before Lydia was born, and our house flooded 3 weeks before Steven was born); I guess this is more comfort for me than for him, though . . . 2)We have two growing little people in our home already, and we know how exciting it has been to see their personalities develop so much in the last few years . . . it makes our heads spin (in a good way) to imagine all the tiny details of what this child will be like, in body, soul, and mind! We can’t wait to meet him/her . . . and 3)We have grown closer to our Savior, our Lord, our God, like no other time in our lives during this pregnancy. This is the best reason I think.
If you’ve never experienced a relationship with Jesus Christ, or even if you are a Christian but have never walked through a time of marked suffering, trial, or significant growth, you might not relate to me here. You might even throw my words right in the mental garbage can and count them as stupidity. That’s alright. But I know who I am, and I know Who I belong to. I know how much it cost Jesus to buy me and all of his children, so I know his work was not in vain. His Word reminds me of this:
- I was DEAD before Jesus
- I was BLIND before Jesus
- I was ADOPTED by God because of Jesus
- I have an INHERITANCE because of Jesus
- I will LIVE FOREVER with God because of Jesus
- I can find JOY in trials because of Jesus
My pastor is preaching us through Ephesians right now, and he ecstatically urged us to find JOY in knowing that God holds on to US, not the other way around. No matter how weak our grip is on the reality of God’s power, His strong arm is there holding on to his precious children. I thought about when we found out that this baby was coming. I wrote about it in the baby book last night, and I hope that one day this child will read my words in the book and see that I wasn’t mad at God or at him/her, but that I was weak in faith. I’ll just say that we weren’t full of joy and hope. I was honestly confused and scared like a little girl in the dark. After all, I know my imperfections and struggles more than anybody, and I could almost smell the stinch of fear engulfing my heart as I thought of the difficulty of taking care of little ones and my shortcomings to do the tasks before me. “I’m not even good at taking care of my own husband!” I thought. I remember talking to a friend that night on the phone, who I knew would speak the truth to me, and she reminded me, “This is one more way for God to drill it into your heart that you need Him. You’re not going to make it on your own, Kristi. You’re not supposed to make it on your own. You were made to need Him . . . ”
I had gone through a tragic couple of months with Eric and the rest of the family, and it seemed like a cloud was hovering over my husband for many weeks. This, coupled with fatigue and sickness from the early weeks of pregnancy, seemed to bear down hard on us. I wanted to take care of him, my kids, and myself, and I felt utterly helpless. I wanted to make him happy. “Why can’t I make him happy?” You don’t have to be a disciple of Jesus very long to learn that humans can’t fill the hole in other human hearts – only God can. Eric did not have peace with his job, and our home seemed like an overworn bag, all wound up and about to burst from the tension. Then came a whirlwind season of busyness and anticipation as we prepared to move to a new place. Sure, there have been days of happiness, bits and pieces of laughter and joy, but much like soilders in battle, those moments were scattered and hurried from the events of our constant action. From one thing to another we have come to these last days, and I look back and tempt myself to ask, “How in the world have we survived these months?”
I don’t have to blink, and I know the answer.
If you know Jesus, and I mean if you know Jesus, you don’t have to blink, either. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? That sweet, almost heavenly bliss of the closeness of Christ. It makes me swell up inside (stop laughing, I don’t mean that kind of swelling). It makes my eyes fill with tears as I think of the intimacy a child of God has with his Savior.
Nothing – not food, not sleep, not sex, not nature, not anything . . .
No one – not myself, not my sweet children, not my husband . . .
. . . can replace the intimacy I have with Jesus Christ. He has pulled me close and shown me, again in this phase of my life, what it means to be his child. Oh! I am his child! I can hardly believe it sometimes.
So that is another reason I know I am ready to bring another person into this world. I know labor won’t be easy, and I honestly don’t look forward to getting up every 2 hours for the next couple of months. But I am ready. I am excited, and I know my husband is, too, because this pregnancy has drawn us near to God.
We have worshipped. And we can rejoice.
So I say to God now, with fear and trembling, but a smile on my 9-month-older face, “Bring this, Your child, to us to cherish, to instruct, and love. We know we aren’t alone, and we know the closeness of Christ will be our strength as we raise another warrior for Your kingdom.”
Here’s to something FREE!
If you are a disciple of Christ, you know the heart of the Christian faith is hearing and learning God’s Word. The Bible is not only our “roadmap” for life – it is very life of every child of God. I certainly wish that I had more desire for the words of my Lord than I do, but I know God promises not to give up on as I gravitate more and more to his commandments and his Truth by the power of the Holy Spirit.
To prepare our daughter for her formal education, which will inevitably begin in the next year or two, I asked my good friend in Oregon for some advice a while back. “What things have you done with your little ones to prepare their hearts and minds for a great love of learning?” Her boys LOVE to learn, and they seem to never stop with their quest for more adventure and knowledge. She emailed me some suggestions that I want to share with others because they’re really great. Also, Christmas is coming around the corner, and it’s a good time to begin asking relatives to buy these kinds of things or put them on your own shopping list. Here are some of the highlights of what she said . . .
- Training – Train her to stand/sit still and with good posture, to come to you when she is asked to come the 1st time she is asked….and be consistent with discipline/affirmation when she fails/suceeds. Treat it similar to potty-training: devote extra time and effort to a significant training period, and don’t try to do it under a stressful time where either one of you are tired or more easily angered. I thought about this for a while after I read it, and no matter what type of educational environment (even Sunday worship) a child has, this is really vital for encouraging a pattern of listening, following directions, and eventual eager participation. I also thought about the time I lived in India, teaching 3rd grade in a private school there. The teachers literally beat the children with sticks on their hands and arms when they weren’t paying attention or obeying. One day when I was doing a lesson, the teacher handed me the stick and signaled for me to hit the particularly unruly child. (I remember, his name was Saddam, and he sat right next to Hussein – no kidding.) There was no way I was going to do that! I thought about how different that type of discipline was than loving, firm, Christian discipline, which trains with the goal to direct a child’s heart to accountability with the Creator, who put the authority in their lives, instead of brainwashing the child to think, “Shut up and listen to ME, or I’ll beat you…”
- Scripture Memorization – Of course a 2 year-old isn’t going to understand the theology of the passages, but putting those words over and over into her mind will lead to lasting fruit – in and out of the classroom. Most important, this skill helps them fight evil, unbelief, and the lies that they will encounter through childhood and youth. Lydia, Eric, and I have begun memorizing certain passages together to get them into all of our brains, and it’s intriguing how quickly a toddler picks up the language of the Bible. Even Steven is trying to say the verses at breakfast, which just amazes me! Some of the passages my friend suggested as starting passages for young ones are:
Psalm 23
Psalm 100
Psalm 103
Psalm 139
Proverbs 3:1-12
Romans 8:28-39
Philippians 4:4-23
Hebrews 1:1-3
Ephesians 4:17-32
Colossians 3:1-11
Galatians 5:16-6:5
Psalm 19
Proverbs 9
Proverbs 10:4-5
Ephesians 6:1-3We are halfway through Psalm 100 with Lydia right now, and my heart leaps when we say it together. She’ll just start screaming (and I mean SCREAMING! – we are working on that – haha) it in the van when we’re going somewhere, and it makes me giggle. I thought that maybe we should only do King James or ESV for certain reasons, but after thinking and talking with Eric, we decided that we want them to learn verses in the version our worship pastor uses the most on Sundays for recitation, so they will recognize what they know and participate during worship services. Eric told Lydia this afternoon that we are going to be saying Psalm 100 this week in church, so we can’t wait for that moment to see her light up with that look, “I’ve been saying this a lot lately. It must be important!”
- Beginning math, reasoning, building spatial abilities and thinking
One suggested company is The Critical Thinking Company. There are so many great resources out there, that I don’t even want to try to make a list! We are so privileged to have so much from which to choose. - Quality read-aloud books for children / books for listening on the road
One thing I always remember about my friend picking up her daughter when I would babysit her once a week was going out to the van and “interrupting” the boys’ listening session – they would usually be completely zoned into some story on cd, so I would just smile and say “hello” and let them get back to it. I thought, “I want my kids to love stories so much like that to where they are so attentive to what they are hearing, even in someone’s driveway!” Here are some of the books she suggested I have on-hand in our library:Tales of Peter Rabbit
Amelia Bedelia
Blueberries for Sal
Bread & Jam for Francis
One Morning in Maine
Make Room for Ducklings
Caps for Sale
Zin! Zin! Zin! A Violin
A Child?s Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson, illus. by Tasha Tudor
The Raggedy Ann Stories
The Raggedy Andy Stories (we have these read aloud on CD as well)
Tikki Tikki Tembo
Rachel Fister’s Blister
The Giant Jam Sandwich
Pancakes! Pancakes! By Eric Carle
Paul Bunyan by Steven Kellogg
The Boy Who Held Back the Sea
Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton
The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
If You Give a Moose a Muffin
James Herriott’s Treasury for Children (our favorites)
The Tiny Seed by Eric Carle
The Big Snow
The Story About Ping
Henny Penny by Paul Galdone
Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney
Island Boy by Barbara Cooney
Hattie and the Wild Waves by Barbara Cooney
The Milly Molly Mandy Storybook
Dr. DeSoto
Corduroy
Keep the Lights Burning, Abbie
Ox-Cart Man
Stone Soup by Marcia Brown
The Farewell Symphony by Anna Harwell Celenza
Pictures at an Exhibition by Anna Harwell Celenza
The Heroic Symphony by Anna Harwell CelenzaAnd CDs:
Beethoven’s Wig: Sing Along Symphonies by Richard Perlmutter
Beethoven’s Wig 2: More Sing Along Symphonies by Richard Perlmutter
Peter and the Wolf, Sergei Prokofiev
Happy Land: Musical Tributes to Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lingua Angelica CD
So that is some good stuff to think about – in a way I feel some internal pressure to go ahead and make some sort of a plan for the next year of preparation for school because once Lydia starts, Steven, and Baby will be very close behind her! That is kind of scary but so exciting! I know that the ultimate goal in education should be greater knowledge of Jesus Christ and love for God. It really gets me excited to know that the simplest way to begin this process is to fill our minds with Scripture, and I can’t wait to learn right alongside my children. It’s completely FREE and right at our fingertips!
Mooching
I’ve been known to do it a time or two . . . My parents are visiting this weekend, and since we have had company at our house for several days, I haven’t been on my computer very much . . . so, to see a wonderful summary of our visit with Emily, Brian, and Ethan, you can jump on over to Emily’s blog for some cute and funny pictures. I’ll post some more after our visit with my parents! (I’ll just say, though, all you people better be coming back to visit after the baby comes, or I’ll get lonely!) 
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