Personal Notes
(Disclaimer: bad grammar, conversational, hard-to-follow!) I feel like my blog is becoming like my family scrapbook and getting quite the shaft these days, but I just can’t seem to catch up and write very often. Lately the hour or two I have after the children are down consists of recovering my housework, school planning, emails, or doing some creative unwinding. I really like to knit, read, or draw when it is quiet at night. I tend to knit and draw more in the Winter for some reason. Hibernating I guess. Eric and I have been spending more time at night catching up and talking, too, since the busyness of the holiday season is mostly gone. I am also not taking on any more web projects for the time being because I find it hard to carve out the time and meet deadlines. I don’t want to permanently back away from web design, though, so I will continue to do some light work for a few clients and see what God has in store this year.
Christian home education is calling my name. Granted it kind of sounds like “MAMAMAMOMMY!” right now! But still every day I realize how much more time is needed on my end to make our goals a reality. It is busy, busy, and it’s great to see the wheels turning, to talk about history, to memorize, to get out books, go outside and play, and learn in the context of real life. I love it so much!
I am managing life at home with four small children the best that I can and clinging to the grace of God in every moment. My standard used to be “neat and clean all the time.” Then, after a few children, it was “neat and clean at least in a few rooms and maybe the vehicles.” After this baby I have lowered my standard even more, and I am learning to be a more patient person in general. I used to hear mothers with growing families speak of “those days before I let go,” and cringe, hoping that I would never talk like that. Well, it’s my turn. I’m not saying we live in a dump, but the perfect Pottery Barn lifestyle is not on our radar anymore. I am happiest on the days when I let go of my personal agenda and look into their eyes. I am busy and never feel like the work is done. Sometimes I call it a day and wish that I could rewind, and others give me energy for the ones ahead. I could not be more blessed, though. When I see them eating up their dinner with smiles, when they run around the house and squeal in delight, when they play with baby Shepherd and I hear them verbalizing their hopes and beliefs, my heart swells. I love the moments when my children play with my hair and tell me that they love me. I love when they ask for just one more book, or when they come running into my bedroom in the morning wanting to tell me what was in their dreams. I praise God for the work He is doing in my heart through mothering these children!
Sunday on the way to church Lydia asked if she could go with me first and then go to her Sunday School class. I told her that sure, she could, but since we were going to the later service, there would be no “class” for her in the third hour, just playtime and a movie with they few other children during that service. “That’s okay. I really want to go with you. I don’t want to miss worshiping God,” she said. I beamed for hours. “This is the good life,” I thought.
There’s really no conclusion to this post. I just wanted to share a little bit about what is going on with me. I hope to make my blog look, bless, read better in 2009, but I am not sure when or how it will happen. In the meantime you guys will have to put up with a scattered, not very user-friendly space, but I sure do appreciate your visits and comments! Have a wonderful January!
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